Stopped!!!
My heart knew it all along. He kept going back to her. When he said he was only in contact with her because she contacted him. LIES! He was seeing her while I was in the hospital. They were working together. Getting lunch together. SLEEPING together. I kicked him out.
After a month and a half he is moving back in. He spent a week with her and then a month on his own. There are no more chances. I have the number of a divorce lawyer ready to call if he does it again. I have realized, I don't need him but want him. But I won't share him.
God please let this nightmare be over!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Enough is Enough
After discovering more contact between them I decided to email her. She needed to know his reasons for continuing the little contact they had. I needed to get it off my chest. Enough was enough.
I know you are probably surprised to get an email from me unless He gave you a heads up. I have said I would email you for a while now. It was always an empty threat. Now I am here in a hospital bed trying hard not to deliver my babies too soon wishing my life could be simpler. But as I tell my friends, my life is a Lifetime movie. You are a running theme through it all. I wish I could turn back time and stop this all from happening. I know you would disagree and just wish for a different outcome.
I never thought in my life my husband would cheat on me. It breaks my heart for the decisions he made and is still making. I also feel sorry for you. I am not making Himt stay with me. It is a choice he is making. I don't want a man who only wants me because of his responsibilities. He could leave at any time. I also know the two of you are emailing. He says it is mainly you. I have no idea what is truth anymore. For all I know, you both could still be sneaking around or talking on the phone. I do know I want there to be no contact at all even email. This needs to be my past and not ongoing. I have asked Him to stop responding to you. He tells me he is doing so to just contain the situation and because he doesn't want anyone to hate him. He is probably telling you something different. I just wanted you to be aware. You truly deserve a man who can give you ALL of him.
The only real point of this email is to ask you to stop all contact with him. I know I am crazy to ask this but he is my husband. We have gone through so much in the past 11 years of our marriage. I will not let this ruin me. I always want you to know I forgive you, not that you care and need me to. I need to for myself. In order for me to move on with my life and not let bitterness set in, I have to forgive.
You don't need to respond. I would rather you didn't.
Skank Whore Hater
Thankfully I never heard from her but he did. She called him late that night crying. He had to make a choice. It wasn't right what they were doing to me. I thought I could finally believe her, yet the contact continued.
I know you are probably surprised to get an email from me unless He gave you a heads up. I have said I would email you for a while now. It was always an empty threat. Now I am here in a hospital bed trying hard not to deliver my babies too soon wishing my life could be simpler. But as I tell my friends, my life is a Lifetime movie. You are a running theme through it all. I wish I could turn back time and stop this all from happening. I know you would disagree and just wish for a different outcome.
I never thought in my life my husband would cheat on me. It breaks my heart for the decisions he made and is still making. I also feel sorry for you. I am not making Himt stay with me. It is a choice he is making. I don't want a man who only wants me because of his responsibilities. He could leave at any time. I also know the two of you are emailing. He says it is mainly you. I have no idea what is truth anymore. For all I know, you both could still be sneaking around or talking on the phone. I do know I want there to be no contact at all even email. This needs to be my past and not ongoing. I have asked Him to stop responding to you. He tells me he is doing so to just contain the situation and because he doesn't want anyone to hate him. He is probably telling you something different. I just wanted you to be aware. You truly deserve a man who can give you ALL of him.
The only real point of this email is to ask you to stop all contact with him. I know I am crazy to ask this but he is my husband. We have gone through so much in the past 11 years of our marriage. I will not let this ruin me. I always want you to know I forgive you, not that you care and need me to. I need to for myself. In order for me to move on with my life and not let bitterness set in, I have to forgive.
You don't need to respond. I would rather you didn't.
Skank Whore Hater
Thankfully I never heard from her but he did. She called him late that night crying. He had to make a choice. It wasn't right what they were doing to me. I thought I could finally believe her, yet the contact continued.
Contact: Between Him and Her
It wasn't but 2 days after he returned home when he began contacting her again. Emailing, txts... He had made so many promises to me. I had made so many threats and rules. He gave me his email password thinking he had gotten rid of everything. He never thought about the trash. There they were, hundreds of emails and chat sessions. I could read it all and fill my mind with all of their thoughts or I could pass it onto a friend to read. I became the bigger person and passed it on but not before I saw his week back emails. His words to her stabbed my soul.
I read them all to him. He had to hear them out loud from me. He begged me to stop. It hurt him to hear his words come from my mouth. I refused. He had to hear how it sounded. I was enraged. He missed her. He loved her. He wished it could be different. She understand. She would always be there. She would make a wonderful stepmother. They could do it together. It would work. All emails were signed, Your Soulmate. SERIOUSLY!!!!
Music was also passed back and forth. Songs that were 'our' songs. Music would never be the same.
Then txts were found on his phone. Phone calls. This has gone on for months. Me on bedrest in the hospital, him still in contact with her. Of course there were excuses. NOTHING made me feel better. To me it was and is black and white, me or her. He couldn't have both.
Promises have been made again. I try hard to believe him. My heart will never be the same.
I read them all to him. He had to hear them out loud from me. He begged me to stop. It hurt him to hear his words come from my mouth. I refused. He had to hear how it sounded. I was enraged. He missed her. He loved her. He wished it could be different. She understand. She would always be there. She would make a wonderful stepmother. They could do it together. It would work. All emails were signed, Your Soulmate. SERIOUSLY!!!!
Music was also passed back and forth. Songs that were 'our' songs. Music would never be the same.
Then txts were found on his phone. Phone calls. This has gone on for months. Me on bedrest in the hospital, him still in contact with her. Of course there were excuses. NOTHING made me feel better. To me it was and is black and white, me or her. He couldn't have both.
Promises have been made again. I try hard to believe him. My heart will never be the same.
Fear
That night I sat in a corner and cried. What was I going to do? Pregnant with twins and all alone. I had friends surrounding me. Family was willing to fly and be there. But I wanted my husband. There really wasn't any sleeping done that night. I woke up in tears and anxiety attacks all night. What would my life be like now? I was an embarrassment. Why?
The next morning I didn't feel any better. I had many phone calls, txts and emails awaiting me. The night had been long and lonely. I was glad there was daylight. Maybe it would clear away this nightmare.
I repeated what happened over and over again. It just couldn't be real but it was. Then I got a txt from him. "I'm sorry. I want to come home." Of course I was glad but a big part of me just wasn't sure. How easy for him to say such hurtful things, to ruin what we had for her, and then want to come back. I let it sit. He needed to sweat a bit. Then I made the call.
"I was up all night realizing what a mistake I had made. When I got up this morning I knew I had to change it all. I never thought after I had done you would take me back. That is why I continued the affair as long as I did. I never thought you would forgive me." My reply, "I never thought I would either."
I can't get enough of him. I hate how this tries to rule my life now. The FEAR is always there. Will he leave again? Months have gone by since he first left. He is still with me but he longs for her. He said he always will. He has to miss one of us.
The next morning I didn't feel any better. I had many phone calls, txts and emails awaiting me. The night had been long and lonely. I was glad there was daylight. Maybe it would clear away this nightmare.
I repeated what happened over and over again. It just couldn't be real but it was. Then I got a txt from him. "I'm sorry. I want to come home." Of course I was glad but a big part of me just wasn't sure. How easy for him to say such hurtful things, to ruin what we had for her, and then want to come back. I let it sit. He needed to sweat a bit. Then I made the call.
"I was up all night realizing what a mistake I had made. When I got up this morning I knew I had to change it all. I never thought after I had done you would take me back. That is why I continued the affair as long as I did. I never thought you would forgive me." My reply, "I never thought I would either."
I can't get enough of him. I hate how this tries to rule my life now. The FEAR is always there. Will he leave again? Months have gone by since he first left. He is still with me but he longs for her. He said he always will. He has to miss one of us.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Never in a Million Years
I met my husband almost 13 years ago. It wasn't long after our first meeting when I knew he was the one for me. He fit every hearts desire. A couple of years later we were married and starting our journey together.
Never in a million years would I have thought I had married a cheater. My husband was always honest and trustworthy. No one would have ever predicted he would have been that guy who had an affair. I had always said I would be the one to cheat. Never him. I was wrong.
It was just a few months ago when he told me the truth. I knew something was going on but never an affair. When he said the words, 'Your worst fear has come true' I still didn't think he had cheated. But he had. He had been in a relationship for 2 1/2 months. He was in love. She was his soul mate. I was a mistake. He felt sorry for me. He was going to be with her now. I would get everything. He would take care of me. I just watched him in complete shock.
A little background information: We were each others onlys. We had tried 5 1/2 years to get pregnant. I was pregnant when the affair began and still was when he told me about her. Pregnant with twins.
He packed up a few things. Emailed my mom and two friends and left my house for hers. I was left pregnant with twins trying desperately to hold it together.
Never in a million years would I have thought I had married a cheater. My husband was always honest and trustworthy. No one would have ever predicted he would have been that guy who had an affair. I had always said I would be the one to cheat. Never him. I was wrong.
It was just a few months ago when he told me the truth. I knew something was going on but never an affair. When he said the words, 'Your worst fear has come true' I still didn't think he had cheated. But he had. He had been in a relationship for 2 1/2 months. He was in love. She was his soul mate. I was a mistake. He felt sorry for me. He was going to be with her now. I would get everything. He would take care of me. I just watched him in complete shock.
A little background information: We were each others onlys. We had tried 5 1/2 years to get pregnant. I was pregnant when the affair began and still was when he told me about her. Pregnant with twins.
He packed up a few things. Emailed my mom and two friends and left my house for hers. I was left pregnant with twins trying desperately to hold it together.
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