Contact: Between Him and Her

It wasn't but 2 days after he returned home when he began contacting her again. Emailing, txts... He had made so many promises to me. I had made so many threats and rules. He gave me his email password thinking he had gotten rid of everything. He never thought about the trash. There they were, hundreds of emails and chat sessions. I could read it all and fill my mind with all of their thoughts or I could pass it onto a friend to read. I became the bigger person and passed it on but not before I saw his week back emails. His words to her stabbed my soul.

I read them all to him. He had to hear them out loud from me. He begged me to stop. It hurt him to hear his words come from my mouth. I refused. He had to hear how it sounded. I was enraged. He missed her. He loved her. He wished it could be different. She understand. She would always be there. She would make a wonderful stepmother. They could do it together. It would work. All emails were signed, Your Soulmate. SERIOUSLY!!!!

Music was also passed back and forth. Songs that were 'our' songs. Music would never be the same.

Then txts were found on his phone. Phone calls. This has gone on for months. Me on bedrest in the hospital, him still in contact with her. Of course there were excuses. NOTHING made me feel better. To me it was and is black and white, me or her. He couldn't have both.

Promises have been made again. I try hard to believe him. My heart will never be the same.